Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Life in Winter...

Winter is the the moment when life freezes for a while but to humans, its just another season of striving harder!

I am looking through the window again today, the snow was thick the other day. Now is already february and ive not seen the snow stayed for while. It was okay though its very cold. How I wish there'd be snow so it will make the day lighter and brighter. Its dark in winter, these long months causes me depression and loneliness. 

I hear people talk about global warming, as I tend to pull my wallet out of my bag, im standing infront of the cashier on a grocery store. I could hear people murmuring and complaining its too cold outside, so i dared to look at them and they were blondies. How come they're not used to this weather? They grew up here, look at me, an immigrant and not even complaining all the time about these weather. Ahh, too much, so i rushed to pay the cashier and run to my apartment. I noticed it had affected me about what Ive heard, coz i came in rushing to my door just to warm myself. Then looking out the window again, I could see the heaven is so dark that it almost speaks of agony. 

There was nothing much to do in winter for me, I have my study, I have a little job, but after all these years I am not glad to see the heaven sad. The sun is sometimes visiting here in the west, but not too long. I feel more than a zombie, my skin looks paled and my lips are dry. I need some vitamin D. The wind is blowing painfully on my cheekbone as it says it can torture me physically.

Winter, how I wish you could freeze my life too. In a moment I can sleep from all of the things that disturb my mind. How I wish I could sleep just like what you do to trees. You make them freeze and take all of its old leaves, would you try to do that to me too? would you even try to freeze me and remove all the past both good and bad and just let me rest for many months..

Well maybe that is why I try to sleep, but even when I sleep I  still feel my agony in me. It haunts me deep in sleep. Maybe because I am alone and missing my kids, my family in homeland too. There is no one around me now, all i hear is my own voice, the tv when it is open. and the echoes I create whenever I am moving myself. 

Winter, show me some light of yours, let your snow fall from haven telleing me you feel me too..
I need a bright light to lessen my sorrow...or most, maybe I need some hug from someone who cares for me......