There is a song from Micheal Jackson that explains much of being lonely and alone, The world seems so lost then when you have not seen the love you have always dreamed of. This song is very reflecting for most of the people who always wanted to have someone to love and be loved in return. I think it is very amazing that this song is written very carefully. In the song it explains a lot about how the person felt when suddenly a true love arrive, it totally can change whole life and point of view. Whole world seems so brighter then and gives a lot of energy to one. I am very amazed by this song and i guess this can be a wedding song actually. Well, Hopefully you all will like listening to this song and give it a try, i suppose...I am sharing you the Lyrics of the song...and a video below...
Sometimes it takes us time to know if the things that we do is the right thing for us.
Lately, I have done massive of mistakes, I've hurt people in my sorroundings. But I am glad that I am a kind of person where I admit my own mistakes and Im proud of myself that I dont deny things I did.
I am a stubborn person where I decide quickly and act quickly, I am impatient and wanted to know things by myself even if I get warnings. By time truly, I am learning daily. I want to know more about myself and get back to myself where i must do things right.
I am giving my sincere thoughts towards those I have hurt unintentionally. I wish that by doing back good things, they could see theres good in me.
I am glad that God leads me daily to be known by teaching on the journey. I am happy for the people who stayed with me through the difficulties in life. For handling me whenever my time was so low. I am happy I have you all who cared enough for me, May you all be blessed for your understanding and caring, that is priceless,.. I cherish you all for supporting me and respecting my decisions.
It takes a lot of energy before I knew I was doing wrong but at least it was not late when I woke up from my mistakes, and Im happy about it.
I look for a better future, I see God has plans for me and that the future is full of hope and life, prosperity and harmony.
To God be the Glory, the creator of heaven and earth.. all bow down in his Glorious power.
I believe that functional loneliness occurs for individuals who have found somewhat effective ways to cope with their loneliness. Unlike individuals that may have overwhelming feelings of loneliness, people with functional loneliness are able to successfully suppress their feelings without having to deal with it directly. Usually it is because they are so busy doing other things that there is little time to have these feelings bubble to the surface. They are almost forced to suppress these feelings in order to do their job, take care of their families, or other such things. It is like a drowning person desperately trying to keep her head above water, it is a sink or swim situation. Functional loneliness folks have learned to do some amount of swimming and keep their heads above water whereas other folks just get drowned by their feelings of loneliness. The fact of the matter is that in both situations, the underlying root for these feelings of loneliness is still not being addressed. The cause is that they are not getting the kind of intimacy that they need in their life. The social interaction, the friendships, the disclosure, the feeling of connection and belonging is simply not enough. While they can ignore it with distractions, they cannot get rid of it that way. It will always be there waiting to remind them that their lives are not complete.
When functional loneliness becomes dysfunctional
It is no surprise then that certain situations would trigger these overwhelming feelings of loneliness that would shut them down. These situations demand the support, intimacy, and connection of others, something that was never fully satisfied in the first place. For example, when we experience an embarrassing moment, or someone hurt our feelings, or we feel overwhelmed with the work that we have to do, it helps to have someone to talk to. Even better, it really helps to talk with someone we are close to. However, when that person is not around or does not exist, then feelings of loneliness crop up, and for those with functional loneliness, it becomes very difficult to continue to ignore that background noise of loneliness. That noise has become a lot louder and a lot more distracting. Even ironically, it may be affecting their behavior and they don't even realize it. Sometimes we feel too stressed, or tired or just have no energy or simply feel lost. Underlying these feelings may really be feelings of loneliness, hiding in the shadows behind these other feelings. We become so good at ignoring the noise of loneliness that even when it distracts us to the point we become dysfunctional, we still do not recognize the noise. So our life may become a series of functional and dysfunctional periods marred by our ever constant loneliness.
Living with functional loneliness?
The other question to ask ourselves is, is it okay to continue living life with functional loneliness, with our ups and downs. The answer really depends on the person. Change usually happens when one has enough motivation to make it happen. That whole cycle may not be enough to motivate us to do something about it. However, living with functional loneliness is living a life incomplete. It involves being able to start trusting others and open up our lives to them. Others cannot be sources of comfort, support, and connection if we do not let them into our lives, let them know what is going on, and ask for help. It involves taking a risk and moving outside of our comfort zone. Sometimes we get so used to a bad habit that we forget it is a bad habit and how much of a detrimental effect it has on our lives. And habits are hard to change, but if you are willing to make the effort, you can make that background loneliness noise go away, or at least become a very quiet whisper that you can deal with, even in the tough times.
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To feel (1) lonely and depressed, (2) lonely but not depressed, (3) depressed but not lonely, and (4) neither lonely nor depressed. The first scenario is the one most typically seen and, in general, correlations tend to range from .4 to .6 (Weeks et al., 1980). Later research also demonstrates that there might be a reciprocal interplay between loneliness and depression with the net result of increasing both (Cacioppo, Hughes, Waite, Hawkley, & Thisted, 2006). However, it is also possible to experiences states (2) and (3) and there is research to show that the co-occurrence between loneliness and depression has its limitations (Weeks et al., 1980). One can think of scenarios where people are traveling and feeling lonely because their interactions with loved ones is limited, but they are not depressed. In other words, typical symptoms associated with depression are not apparently, such as feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, fatigue, and loss of interest are not present. Similarly, one could be severely depressed and isolated and yet not feel lonely because he/she desires little contact with others.
So the next time you, someone you know, or a client, comes in and says they feel sad, one should really stop and wonder why exactly they feel sad. If it is that that sadness is related to a lack of social connections or a sense of belonging, then perhaps loneliness is the real problem and not depression. They may actually not be depressed at all. Understandingloneliness as a fundamental problem that needs to be dealt with, arguably, can lead to much more effective results than simply lumping everything together as depression.
Micheal Joseph Jackson is the King of Pop, well known by the world since he was very little. The world known him through his tremendous voice when he use to play with the Jackson 5. And through those years, people just know him through his performance on the stage. The Young Micheal looks so very happy on stage, but what we dont know about him is the real MJ behind the stage and behind the scenes.
I sat down today and listens to his music, it soothes me innerly and makes me lives in his song while it plays on my player. I have admired MJ since childhood. I guess the first music video I have seen was the 'THRILLER'. I guess thats very amazing and huge, his voice is very attracting and very inviting to dance with. And it inspires me all through the years. I had this funny thought when I was little that when I'll grow up, I will move to America to be near MJ and able to see his concerts. So I did worked hard and tried to learn more of english language. It was amazing really. All through the years I supported and maybe because of my family life situation, I could not even buy a ticket when MJ had a concert in Asia.
It makes me curious still about him when it was reported many times he like little boys, but I assure you. I never believe in those, I felt like there must be something in it.
Now, I have watched many videos scattered online about MJ, regarding things he have done and regarding his skin. He is proud to be a Black American, but he has a skin disease that destroys the pigmentation of the skin cells. This is hereditary in MJ's fathers side. Well, thats good one!!
And one thing, MJ compensate himself through material things around him just like the house he lived in in Neverland. It is his ways because he never had a childhood years, he has got pimples, got scorned by his father, he cried and laughed just like an ordinary person. And I guess this even had caused him some depressions in his adolescent years. I am amazed by his life, actually, as an ordinary person, we have nothing to complain about. Our daily living is complete with happiness, we lived fully as child most of us I suppose. we have friends, which he didnt have except his brothers. We have all had parties, buddies and just hang out when we were teens.
News had spread regarding his cases about child molesting.. I further move about that, coz I dont believe in it either. I think it is more media pressure and the Illuminati. He is a memeber of that I guess..
Some of the well-known persona in the world are members of the Illuminati, they control the world. They control the media, block markets, wars and many billion involving investments of every country.
Recently, I have seen some videos by so called prophets that MJ is one of the devils singer and he dance just like in hell? I never thought that you can dance in hell? and sing too at same time? they say that MJ sold his soul to the devil... whoaaaa!!!! People overdrive too much about everything now..
I thought hell is full of torment and madness? full of suffering, isnt it? thats what written on the bible...
That hell is a place of torment and sufferings, a lake of fire.. how could you dance in there? and sing?
Hmmm I dont know bout that!! He sings like an angel... And I dont know how other fans of MJ like me would handle that!!
In a video of Mj's rehearsals for the album 'THIS IS IT', I have seen that he is very kind and nice person-. He treats his crew and band very kindly, and hes got the expressions ''I LOVE YOU'' and ''God Bless You''. He has few words even in the rehearsal..
On the following videos I will publish here, you will see him in his interview with Oprah Winfrey
and a video film of the rehearsal for This is it album.
Following videos may even be attached in this publications and is dedicated to all MJ FANS!!!
Now here I am getting very nostalgic about Mj.
I am a resident of Europe now and still MJ lives as a legend...!! Salute!!
Micheal Jacksons full interview on Oprah Winfrey show
Its good to meet new people and make friends, and good to know that same people you meet would have same interests like you.
Life is very funny sometimes, it can give you unsearchable things. Wonerful day, and I have been running errands all through the town.. Been in a meeting that made me so sleepy, a job search, job informations which were interesting in few things. Now I am here again... Run back to the town and made some arrangements. The finally, it was over with running errands..
Finally it was four o'clock in the afternoon. the sun still shining as it glimpse through the waters. I like the sun so much. I've been missing the sun for few months, I am meeting a girl today. we became friends now and I think its good to have her near though. I liker her and I enjoy her company.
My Self reflection...
She doing a selfie
Michelle dear
The waters in its diamond clothing over the earth..
I would like to believe that people around me would be more understandable than I am. I would like to think that when I'm hurting, they would see the pain right through my heart. Everytime I go out, my eyes cant take the light. I feel more vulnerable around these people even though I know they dont know me. I am paranoid. Sometimes I wish that my imagination would create things in real so I wont get worried that I am hallucinating.
Lately I feel my world is turning upside down. I feel like no one cares, or maybe they do but I dont see anyone around me now. My heart is heavy and I feel like everything is so difficult to understand. Or maybe its just me who are difficult to talk to. I would like to explain about depression to you. Well, I dont know where to start, but I know that since childhood I have been through a lot. Some difficulties and tragedies I shouldn’t be with. I loved my little family, truthfully I call them family. I am the eldest, I have wonderful siblings. There are two boys and one little sister. Shes fine you know? When you see her she will not like you. Shes kinda different I suppose. Maybe I have put too much negative things on her, I dont know. But you see? We were all happy together when we were little. Theres this tiny things we argue sometimes but it all goes away for while and we're all friends again. Father is a good man, he is lovely. He is the man I look up to. I love him you know? Yes dear reader, my father is almost my world. You might say I am a daddy's girl. Oh! Well thats sounds good. He is a treasure for me, now hes got silver hair and his heart weighs more than gold. Oh! Yeah I forgot, ive got mother too. Shes okay you know. We dont get along together but I guess shes alright.
You see the differences of people in depression is that, some have good families, grown up well, have wealth and lacks of nothing but attention. I am reversed, I grew up with a broken family. My mom and dad dont get along well together. They would argue even in the middle of the night just of tiny things, they speak in loud noises and my ears even swelling. But thats all. People use to say on normal days ''im depressed'' well theres a lot of sorts of that. Depression starts from the memories of childhood, additional with traumas and some tragedy or might have been into some abused situation. I dont say I am a victim coz I dont see myself that way. I am just in a wrong place and on a wrong time. My depression causes me not to sleep, it causes me nightmares. I am worried all day and all night. I fear life even though I know that things that had happened wont ever come back again. I fear myself to things I might going to do. I fear people around me, I'mso scared so you know. I wear my smile infront of people to show that I can manage, but deep inside I'm hurting so deep that it feels like bleeding. People say I am crazy, but I guess crazy people dont have the inevitability to ask themselves if they're crazy. I dont even have the time to know if I am going crazy myself. I have been into Bughouse, but that doesnt mean I am disfunctional. It does not mean I am handicapped and that it dont matter what I think anymore. My feelings are more heavier now and I need someone to talk to. But thats alright! Everybody's busy nowadays. I understand everything but I cant focus at same time. I feel more confused about life and about my ownself. I see people around me as a threat, a threat to something I couldnt even define what it would be or could be. My machine is breaking, it feels like exploding in no time and I cant stop the pain. The hurt is streaming like a thunder. It breaks through my bones and then my heart feels heavy. Like it is filled with all the doubts, worry, anger and madness...but most of all that awares me is that...there is something in me...longing...yes...you read it right.. I feel longing.. There is something in my heart that I am longing but I dont know what it is. No one could explain to me either. Now I sit here in front of this screen writing about myself. Or maybe I am just a little bit stupid to speak with the keyboard when I know it will never response to everything I would say. It will just do what I want it to do. Tell me more people!! tell me I am crazy, but sure you know I will never!! never!! admit that I am crazy. Because I am not crazy, I am just full in my machine.
When I was at peak everybody cared, everybody liked me. I played the game. I speak good things that all people want to hear, I act as though everyone admired me. I smile, but no one knew I can even cry hard enough that it feels like dying. And when they see me, asking how am I and I answered them im alright or maybe not alright but it dont matter though. Because the moment I answered them I am not alright, same moment they turned around and left. And I am there alone. Standing like a fool, waiting for the next person to ask me same question in hope that maybe the next person would dare to stay at my worst. But you see? No one dared to stay. Everybody leaves just like the days, it passes by so quickly. There are none at all, they were not real.They were imaginary friends. They were there when there was nothing needed, they are there and shared the goodness and all the party around the town, I kept hanging out with them but after those times I was needing them then they disappeared like clouds. Leaving me with all my hurt and not knowing why. They look at my outer skin and says they dont judge but I can see through their eyes they speak silently, not to everyone but to themselves. Now I felt desperation, I feel anger in me. Maybe I was wrong to love, maybe I was stupid to trust and believe too much that people have the heart. Maybe I am so stupid enough to think that the world is a better place if there are people who are good. Well, the world is already a dumpsite. All is mixed up of good and bad and no matter what I do, I know for real that the bad wins most of the time. This is the reality, so dont argue with me. I cry my tears on my pillow every night, my eyes are swollen day by day and yet I manage to wear my smile. I am disappointed that in all the things I've done, I am not perfect, but I know I have done good things too. But of all those it became useless, it became nothing, it meant nothing, all the people see is the worse part of me, they only see the outer part of me. Does not my heart weigh more than what I look like physically? Or maybe I would turn and ask them if theyre the one whose crazy? I dont know. But right now? I think the world is just a bare crust withholding people who are actors and actresses. On the contrary, even if I am depressed, I still can drive myself normal. I can drink but maybe a zip, I can eat but maybe because my body needs it not because I want to. I can go out for a walk but I might gonna be into an accident. I can wear a smile to show im alright, but deep in me I am planning to die. Death is the the best escape for now to not feel lonely, to not feel fear, to not feel the living. I can hear what you say but maybe not so clear and I only hear the sound of your voice. I dont know what you say. My body functions is not working well and my aggression against myself is taking place, then because of fear, I want isolation from the outside world and keep myself inside my own box. Thought of that this can be of help, and yes it is a help. For a while, yeah, it made me feel safe inside the box, no one stares, no one asks, no one point a finger and least not one compare themselves to me. Because what they have is different for what I have now. And maybe I wish I could sleep and never wake up at all. Maybe when I'm dead, people would come on my grave and make an act they care when I was alived, hell yeah I would rather be a ghost and kick them off. I know when Im dead people would pretend to cry like we were close, they would open up messages that I have done for them and remind those funny things I do when I was with them. But it wont matter when I am dead.
Now I am still alive!! still I dont know what sort of people I have to choose, its far beyond my understanding and I feel so lost. At the moment, my mind is quiet..there is no fire or ash, no sulfur or shattering glass. Only silence, empty and cold. The city was a machine of its own, continuously producing. We were constantly pumped out through its assembly line, in different forms or models. We came hardwired with different stories, dark secrets, vices, and defects. Over time, we fail and come to find our end, but the city continues onwards
