Saturday, September 29, 2012

Reflections for a moment....

There are times when we sat down somewhere and our minds just fly away for a while.. Those times we think too much and feels like evething must be over.. I have some moments where my imaginations taking over me sensitively. And the thoughts just run through and they made me feels so sad.

I had the thoughts about my life...my childhood years which were not that easy. The parents which are so loving but are helpless to be together. And I still could not figure out why there must be separations to happened? and I stuck myself there in the midst of the thoughts...suddenly..I my other brain activity is calling me to where I have to go back... Made me look far away through things and felt so powerful for while...

The world is changing from time to time...people are changing too every minute...and I could say I have changed... Yes... I do... By younger years, I have learned to defend myself, to imitate the world...and to fit me in..I have earned few knowledge but some are destruction to my own... I have heared alot from other peoples advice which sounds so good but it does not fit me,,.and still home is far and I seem not to belong to where I stand now...

People we meet from day to day have different character...there are people who are seem to be like an angel..with the very best of attitude that makes us love them more.. There are people who are so damn great at first but always wanted to take control on what we say...like it doesnt even matter what you think and say, what matters is when you listen to them..and there are sorts of people who don't have empathy. They just give a damn.... And I have learned to have a distant from all of those people... If they are so annoying ...its better to stop the connection before it get worst.. Don't stand there zippered mouth and let them speak against you..coz one day, they will speak behind things which are not true,,

And my reflections to what I want to become had made me feel so comfortable everytime it plays into my head...The dreams seems to be overviewed and seem too easy to plan..But the plans are so sarcastic to follow coz it can change by time.... things may happen unexpectedly....and I still dance with the world and flow with the people, still searching for the moment that will make me complete.. I believe that there is no right time and right place which people use to say... The right time is now...and the right place is at where you stand...The changes comes from the start you move your right foot and every step can make differences from one to another...

Future is so sensitive that we must not plan..but must be careful on our every move.. God knows who we are..and what we will be...and the reflections must be good unto the sight of the Lord.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Stuck in between...

I would have....
I could have....
that is what I suppose to say most of time...

If I could...
If I had....
If I did not...
If I was...
that is the word I keep telling myself all the time...

Those times were full of regression, madness...emptiness....loneliness..
I have been busy thinking of the FUTURE...  what it look like? and how it does it look like..?
I have been busy thinking about things that have not yet happened... How foolish am I...
And days go by that sometimes, I do not even have the time to weep..
And when I weep, I must be finished soon. Because things are waitng for me, my tasks..
Oh these obligations, they never end...  These hardships, they always comes a new...

And times of loneness, I could imagine myself there..I feel the emptiness.. there is something missing...
If I would have think of it before, maybe I am affected by Mama and Papa, whom have been separated from each other in my younger years... Oh yes...maybe it had a part... And far from the horizon, I am seeking for comfort.. and I could fantasize the love of Rose and Jack, or the love of William Thucker and Anna Scott in Notting Hill..  Then it made my heart beat a little bit happier...to hope a little more...

And friends see me, I see them... I smile, and they smile too.. But somehow I can see when they turn their backs they got big stories going on in their curly little minds.. Oh brains... brains have been to busy... How could that be? when brain itself weighs 1,5kg. well, to think of it... it have a lot of space... But I hope their brain is not busy in thinking about others lives... Coz they do... If I could only see...

And in the end of the day, I get stucked in the middle of my thinking.. About a lot of things...
It runs too much till I get tired... Yeah... and think of those words again... as I start talking to myself...
If only I could...then I would.. realizing..that was a song ey?

anyways..here is a FANTASY music and hope you enjoy..

*****************************************

And Imagination of THE FIRST SUPERMAN...
Think If HE WAS REAL::: then his job would be difficult..
Coz the world would rely on him only...

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Intense Pain of Mind and Body...

...IN THE CALMNESS OF THE OCEAN HIDES SOMETHING BURNING UNDERNEATH....


I was so distressed these past few weeks. A little bit tired of myself and things around me.
Things had been running through my mind and it made a sudden pain into my heart.
Looking back of all the things I have been through... Oh you...!! You have no idea what I have been through... Depression and loneliness had attacked me and I could not hold on the tears from falling. Coz there are times that I am so happy and so overwhelmed, and rest of times am I so full of anguish that I could not see the bright side of this life.
Remembering those days when I were still in my fathers arms, when he still have the responsibility on me like I just didnt care.. Times with my siblings, those moment that responsibility is far away from the mind.. And play is only the central thing I am available to.
 Yet i have responsibility as an elder sister, but it was not that tempting and heavy.

Few years afterwards, look at me?? I am a full grown woman now..
Running my life, got married and have two children.
Which way I have walked thru doesn's seem so clear until now. The responsibility I have heared from my father took over me now. And family, studies, children, a mothers responsibility..
 It is a fact that things just go in circles. Either u run from it or you take it. So I have chosed to carry the responsibility and it is extremely painful to think that can't i have a day just to look over how I ever look like?
 But these pain I feel, I wish will pass away.. Somehow I know I will be able to manage it by the help of the Lord. This anguish is just a trial to see how far I can hold on.... which sometimes I wanted to let go.

And I am only human, I would have not known when will the agony coming back. Or what might going to happen tomorrow.. But then, the next time it will come back.., surely I am prepared to manage it.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Runner I met.

I got so very busy these past few months and not abe to have time to look at my blogs. But well, here I am... after all the messy exams in my Nursing Aid courses for the first sem, at last i finally pass them. I have finally  make it through to know that I will starting my 2nd sem soon.. A little Job training to look forward to. and well, got busy as well with the church. A running errands and things that suppose to be in places. Or faces must be in places too haaha....
id like to share pics... a little bit about CESAR GUARIN. the Philippine Runner who have dedicated his goal to RUN AROUND THE WORLD. Since 1983 he started to run in ultramarathon in Zamboanga to Baguio then decided to run for the FILIPINOs around the world. And his mission is to help the street children. Who could ever do that? I wouldve think hes simply a God's Blessing to each and every children in Pinas... now.. enough with my blah blah blah... heres the pics....
please support ...

http://www.theglobalrun.org/home.html




Cesar Guarin and Moi. eating time.

ju..jump..





















Saturday, May 12, 2012

This day....

This day is so wonderful.... me and the kids went to a kiddie birthday party... :) and met few friends there.... it was great... and I am giving my thanks to Josephine for sharing me her "tuyo" dried fish i say...hehehe..

at the party, food is so deliciously melting on our mouth.... Girlie really did it well... thanks for Hezel she came there early, I supposed to be there but i had ran errands myself so....I was late... but after all EVERYBODY are happy... :)
moi beaux...

mes le enfantes....

The natures beauty...


Wonderful colors...

spiderman child...

Spiderman facepaint...?? Not bad...!

Arielle Louisa...Bday girl

Aroielle Louisa...

A friend....Behind hahahah



hhmm...moi....


The tulips of my heart...!







Tuesday, April 3, 2012

My Birthday Celebration.....

Hi peeps,

March 31 2012
 I celebrated my birthday at home with special friends and with my close family. I enjoyed it a lot specially the gifts i got from them. I am so blessed to have few friends...I mean real close friends..coz all of them in the picture cannot be call friends by reasons that I do not know them actually. We just met thru people and never get close, always see each other on parties, but the close friend of the family is Gemma and her family, Girlie, and Elsie.
I welcomed all the visitors who came to my party and it was succesful.. I am happy that Mami Anita was there and she cook the best stew hehehe.... Ate Edna was a good ome to talk to, we spake to each other almost whole night and speaking in Ilokano. hehehe I miss the moment though...
Anyways, I will share some pics now....


The Birthday gal


Gemma, Anna, Me




Irish Baked for me...yeyyyy

Add caption

Irish best...Hopia Mungbeans









A friends Hug....

Gift opening is the best part...


Flower freak....

Flowers..and flowers...and more flowers heheh

Elsie and meeeee